Black women are not only lying to everyone else when they say that their weaves are simply a fashion statement, but it’s simply not true. The truth is, weaves are much more than a simple fashion statement. They are also a symbol of beauty. They serve as a way to escape from Black characteristics and traits that white people have always demeaned since the beginning. A greater truth stands, which is the fact that Black women do not value their natural Afro textured hair.
It makes sense, since we know that the media has always glorified attributes that are more Caucasian. Tons of hair commercials glorifying straight hair that is not at all typical of Black people. Black women want to identify with beauty, and the symbol of beauty seems to be straight textured hair that is typical of white people.
Once Black women understand this deep rooted hatred that stems from slavery and the mistreatment by white people, then we will finally be able to heal. It is necessary for Black women to gain the confidence they need that will allow them to become better mothers, better wives, and more respectable. “It’s just hair,” doesn’t fly anymore because we realize that our hair says so much about who we are.
A defining moment for Black women will be when Black women are no longer ashamed of their natural hair.
I didn’t know anything different there was only my mum dad and sister and I. So when I was really young used to watch my mum hot comb her hair. My sister and I would just get Vaseline put through our h.air and combed. During the late 70’s early 80’s I would have a wet look perm, and my sister was still natural but I think she used to wear a lot of hats. Now that we are in our mid fifties. She’s got dreads, I’ve shaved mine bald cause of the grey. Each to their own.
I think there is a tendency for us as women- men are guilty of this too- to ASSUME we know what our counterparts are thinking. People are individuals so I hope the generalizations will stop. However, weave or no weave, if you’re a beautiful person that will be reflected in your countenance and will attract men aplenty.
I will say this though, don’t let these beauty supplements, including hair extensions, weave etc. define how you perceive your OWN beauty. That is when it becomes an issue, because then you subconsciously become a perpetrator, to your own detriment, of Eurocentric beauty ideals. And beauty ideals make no sense.
I kind of understand your point about getting over the topic of “hair”. It’s not just hair. There seems to be a general obsession with what the black woman is doing. I can see a trend emerging on social media, in the grand scheme of things black communities have a lot more to concern themselves with than a woman’s hair choices. BUT it’s a lot deeper than that. It’s about the male gaze and desirability, self-esteem and self perception.
For some women it is what it is. A hairstyle. Simple. But for others it’s a lot more. For example, the thread started because of a post linking black women’s hair choices to male critique we receive within our communities. So what does that say about what some women’s relationship with their hair, physical appearance and men.
I don’t think there’s any correlation between a black woman’s appearance and a man choosing to interracial date- at least, a man with common sense and WORTH dating.
Those are the ones that aren’t worth any woman’s time. I have no time for a man that cannot see beauty in women that reflect himself let alone other women. At the same time I judge Black men that obsess over notions of superiority and like me simply because I AM a Black woman. A fair point I recognize though is that my experience as a Black woman is different because of the way I am “perceived”. Men dealing with self- hatred is a whole other issue.
You know what I find funny…
Black men telling black women to just be themselves because we will love you regardless…
And black women getting offended and defensive over something that is clearly positive.