What’s the point though…? You need a shoulder to cry on? Yea, we got problems so, do y’all! ‘Wait! Let me bring up/point out a flaw in hopes others will join me in bashing so, I can feel better about what I’m going through.‘ We are under attack and, unless you’re bringing true insight to the source of the problem and/or, presenting solutions that consider both sides in a non-offensive way, I wouldn’t bother.
We all wanna help but, dang sis… Next time, at the very least, pose it as a question for example, ‘Do black men my generation (17-23) want highly intelligent women? Then, you’ll get all the love you need to feel better be re-inspired to continue your quest. Also, I’d leave out the ‘highly’ part.
Sounds a bit narcissistic and, demonstrates there is a complex that may be the whole reason brothers getting pushed away… even the good-looking, strong and, intelligent ones.
This wasn’t about making me feel better. If you aren’t between the ages of 17-23 you wouldn’t know. I started it that way to see if people can give reasoning. I wasn’t asking a question I was stating an opinion.
Really…? The young always thinking the older people don’t know what time of day it is… LOL. It’s ok… I thought the same thing. Don’t let the age fool you. 1, we been there before. 2, we know what’s going on in your lives. We can see it much clearer from here. We’re not in the mix with emotions, confusion, lack of wisdom understanding. Like I said Lil sis, next time ask the question if you want ‘reasoning’ wisdom. I already told you what your ‘statement’ says to others when they read it.
It’s not the intelligence of women that’s the issue. The problem is when intelligent black women happen to be arrogant, obnoxious, overbearing. These are attributes that aren’t as big of an issue with less intelligent women because it’s easy to return them back to reality when they get like this. However, when a black man finds an intelligent black woman who isn’t arrogant, obnoxious, overbearing, then he’s generally trying to keep her. Unfortunately, it seems that most intelligent single black wine tends to be arrogant, obnoxious, overbearing.
That is so true exactly what you saying I couldn’t have said it better myself and I’m a woman so if a black woman or black man is doing it for themselves then being obnoxious overbearing ignorant that’s when the reality sets in and that’s when you start to realize what the f*** really goodbye it takes more than a good woman to have a job to keep a man or woman both ways.
This is so not true. My nephews, his friends, and many other black males I speak to of the generation you are mentioning are just as intelligent, motivated, and working on having their own businesses and have partners who are just alike. And to say this is being arrogant and hateful.
I’m not talking about me specifically I have someone but I’m in a women’s book club and this always seems to be the source of our discussion. They mostly say they won’t give them a chance or only wants sex. I’m not trying to be hateful or arrogant I wanted to see if some of the older generations had some insight on it.
Ask these women in your group the questions I wrote, who are you letting into your life and why, what type of person are you and what kind of energy are you putting out? We do not need to look for a man, a man will come when the person is ready to receive, until that, they will receive the hurts and pains they are wishing to run away from in the form of that man. Always make sure that you have healed and loved yourself before you are willing to accept love from another, otherwise, most of the time it turns out to be sex.
Ok..you are just trying to help, so come from a place of love and ask them if you may be able to suggest a thought…Good luck!
Lies, some women are just "whack" and don’t even know it. Not saying YOU personally cause I don’t know you but there’s a ton of whack broads in the game where dudes will just toot it and boot it.
1000 percent false the problem is that it is nearly impossible to find a true. profoundly intelligent mate. Your idea of intelligence is probably diametrically different than mine. This is because the African nature of marriage or relationship positions the man to be super superiors- the western and whites are the ones who tortured this truth and diluted it with “equality”.
We can recall that in certain African cultures a few centuries ago, women were not allowed to go to school so that that they may not gather challenging knowledge on par with men.
It’s all black men if she doesn’t specify an age range. It’s not my responsibility to determine the age range. You should specify with your post otherwise be prepared to face the rapture. I’m not going to waste my time dealing with idiots because I value every minute of my time. Hopefully, I explained my views. Why don’t you post something stupid and incomplete and share it with me? You will certainly receive a response. I refuse to entertain any valueless topics of this nature moving forward.
Just remember a couple of facts. The more educated you are in the most likely you are to work for somebody. Secondly, education does not liberate, it subjugates. As soon as others get to a high level of education they mostly look down on others and will try to dictate the lives of the lesser person, man or woman.
Being an exception to those facts is a minority position. We looking at the majority situation. Maybe the best thing to avoid relationship issues is to find your educational match.
You are the minority I spoke of above. It’s good on a social level, and we wish your position would be more widespread for the betterment of relationships.
Aren’t there highly intelligent black men in that age group? Those are the ones that would want to accept intelligent black women. It depends on the types that you’re choosing, accepting, or noticing. What black women in that age range that are intelligent can do is focus on the types that:
1.-Share their interests
2.-They can communicate well with.
3.-Have good qualities such as unselfishness, self-control, honesty, loyalty (to you rather than what you have or what they can get from you), faithfulness, trustworthiness, putting her first, having her best interests at heart, good listening skills, respect for her, respect for her gender, a willingness to make sacrifices for her that he might not necessarily benefit from, willing to have good (deep) conversations, thoughtfulness, consideration, being supportive, etc.
4.-Share their morals, values, goals, interests, preferences, and beliefs.
5.-Have similar unselfish motives for entering the relationship (love) rather than selfish reasons.
6.-Go to places that might feature her interests or places where good things / things she enjoys are taking place such as: bookstores, libraries, museums, art galleries, black bookstores, black libraries, black organizations, black museums, black art galleries, concerts, spoken word events, poetry readings, book signings, tourist attractions, community events, sporting events, physical fitness centers, discussion groups, cooking classes, dance classes, writing classes, art classes, fashion classes, computer classes, singing classes / choirs / bands, comedy clubs, business conferences, conventions, political campaign volunteering, community volunteering events, bike tours, museum tours, guided tours, gallery openings, charity galas / fundraisers, fashion shows, theater festivals, running clubs / events, farmer’s markets, college campuses, local talks / speaking engagements, volunteer organizations, hikes, food festivals, music festival, art festival, business / design / art expo, internet cafes, car shows, trivia nights, etc.
Doing this can screen out the types that you don’t want and help her to meet more of the types that she does want. This can also make conversations easier, bonds stronger, and understanding easier.
There are plenty of black men who are intelligent that date black women. That’s why I included a list of the places because sometimes those places can screen out the ones that don’t want black women too. It can screen out those that have different interests as well.
Also if those women go to places where the things they like are featured…there are men there that would like the same things. People connect with similar interests, ideas, places where discussions are, etc. It’s easier to talk/connect with someone that has your interest. It’s not easy to meet intelligent people walking down the street for instance because they are often going somewhere, doing something, helping someone, involved in something.
The places or what those people are looking for can screen out the men only looking to use or be with women temporarily (ex: players, those that want sex with benefits, those that want one night stands, those that are focused mainly on appearance, etc.). Yes…there are guys in every age group (including in the 17-23 age range) that will prefer a particular group of women.
Just like there are women that enjoy reading, discussions, and intelligent conversations…there are guys that like those things too. Intelligence can also be expressed through a person’s career, area of interest, or area of expertise.
Out of groups of men that are intelligent are men that will prefer shallow/superficial women or women that are not like them. There are women in that group that are the same way. What those that want intelligent partners should do is focus on the ones that share their preferences. They can screen them out by having conversations with them about various topics, interests, fields, and subjects. As for those that want non-black women…they can be recognized quite easily by how they treat or talk about black women. You don’t have to ask directly…just start a discussion with them about black issues, politics, history, etc. There aren’t that many of them either. The difference is that society has given them a microphone and a stamp of approval to help them raise their voices and profile above some of the black men that prefer black women.
That’s very true but before I found someone I had this problem. Physically I’m attracted to a lot of men so they approach me a lot but as soon we have a conversation about something they started to act differently. They tried to say things they thought I wanted to hear or overcompensate they eventually said, I’m not their type. But they were the ones who approached me first.
I had a couple of men admit to me that because I was smart that they didn’t think I would give them a chance. Or they said they didn’t think they would be enough for my standards. This is bull because after one or 2 conversations they just came to that conclusion.
That’s part of the problem. Those men were approaching you. I hate to say it…but sometimes the men that are approaching women are only doing so based on looks especially in certain places. That’s why the place matters because sometimes you can build a connection based on something other than looks (ex: something you have in common). Also, there are men that didn’t approach but might have been interested. Also, the fact that those men thought that way, regardless of their level of intelligence, they were the wrong one for you.
Also sometimes a woman or a guy can see someone and start a conversation about something. It doesn’t always have to be someone approaching another person specifically for a relationship. And I’m not saying that everyone who approaches thinks that way…just saying a lot do.
It can be because of the guy too. His motives for approaching matter and who he is can matter too. Also, some men will turn away from an intelligent or perceptive woman because they can’t manipulate her, control her, use her easily (depending), etc. Some also think those women may not be traditionally minded as well (if they want a traditional woman).
Yes…I thought of the bus and train but I wasn’t sure if anyone would see that as a good place…I thought it might be. Well…I think it’s hard when it comes to men and women trying to be friends because there are some who are using it as a way to get in their foot in the door, are sharks, are opportunists (waiting for her relationship to fail or an opportunity to present itself).
Also, some people believe the friendship between the two genders is simply a way to get to know the person in order to get into a relationship with them. I don’t know…it would probably be easier if they shared similar interests. It can also depend on their maturity level. It can also depend on why they choose someone or why they get into a relationship.
What I mean is that the person would then be selective and would choose certain types…not just anyone that talks to them, connects to them, is friends with them, etc. (Not saying that those people aren’t good or aren’t relationship material…just saying that the people doing this are often picking the person randomly or based on something superficial.)